a drifter’s drafts adrift

Published in Kuwait Times on Tuesday, July 17 (yes, will be published tomorrow :-p)

Imagine you are lying on your bed, your head is numb with pain, your body temperature nearly the same as the weather outside and in your hands you are holding a book. You try to read, but the letters swim and swirl, swoosh back and forth, causing your head more pain.
What’s putting you in all this misery is a very tiny microbe that succeeded in invading the privacy of your mouth – yes, it penetrated your lips, swam over your tongue and attacked the two little masses of lymphatic tissue called your tonsils. These weaklings, who presumably have a defensive role in your body, get infected by the tiny bacteria and start to cause you indescribable pain. The soreness of your throat makes it nearly impossible for you to swallow. So you stay in bed, miserable, feverish, hiding under two or three blankets, drenched in sweat.

What causes tonsillitis?
The causes of tonsillitis are either bacterial or viral. Transferred through social contact, you can get tonsillitis via a handshake or a hug. The person might be oblivious to the fact that they are infected and transmitting the wicked tonsils infection to you.
Another endangering type of people is sneezy people. You know the kind of person who would come into your room or office to tell you about how their day is, how they hate having a sore throat and how they can’t eat well, can’t sleep well, then ACHOO! And congratulations, you have a hyper, very active virus swimming in the air of your room, waiting for you to open your mouth so it can invade your throat and inflame your tonsils.
An ear, throat and nose doctor said that tonsillitis is an all-year long occurrence, though the number of patients rises slightly during autumn and winter.

How do you cope?
Ask a survivor. Your tonsils will get back to functioning normally – after starving and dehydrating you, and giving you a few sleepless nights – but you need to do certain things. The first step is to get antibiotics. Second is, keep drinking fluids. You’ll probably need to buy your own supply of juice. Keep a stack in your room so that it would stay room-temperature, and drink. The point is to keep your body from dehydration.
Keep away from spicy food. Yes, this means no Zinger Supreme from KFC, definitely no Indian food, no Chinese pungent chicken. Be easy on your throat; try to have soft food until the infection is cured.
Chamomile tea is the most famous home-remedy for throat infection. In Grandma philosophy, it helps reduce the swelling of the throat and soothes the pain. It might not be very effective – I personally do not like the taste of chamomile, nor the sound of it, but that’s just me – but it’s worth giving a try if you are one of those people who believe in the powers of Mother Nature. It is worth mentioning that as you prepare the drink, do not think of it as mere chamomile tea. Think of it as an infusion of dried, crushed chamomile flowers picked from ever-green fields. That should please Mother Nature and do the trick. If all fails to help, then you my friend are a desperate case. See your doctor to discuss the possibility of …

Tonsillectomy: A free ticket to ice-cream!
Usually your doctor will decide to remove your tonsils if you bother him every other week with a complaint about sore throat. The procedure is said to be very simple. I personally have not tried it, but will be very soon. (Yes, hence this article.) The good thing about tonsillectomy is this: you will never have a sore throat again. So kiss your Strepsils and lozenges good-bye, you’re moving to a new chapter of your life in which they have no existence.
Most doctors prefer to perform this operation during the wintertime, in belief that the wound will not heal fast enough if it was summer. Dr. A. Al-Fares believes that this is a doctor’s personal choice. Surgeons, however, perform the operation all year long.
The fun starts after having a tonsillectomy. Ice-cream becomes the main course for the first week following a tonsillectomy. Ice cream soothes the pain of the wound in your throat and helps you get better faster. So as your family have their usual dinner, as they munch on what you can get to call ‘boring food’, now that your tonsil-free, you can have your little tub of ice cream and start digging in it with your spoon.
Haidar Bahman, a 19-year old who had his tonsils removed two years ago spoke of the dangers of having a tonsillectomy. “You can’t control the food in your mouth! You don’t enjoy the taste! You just put the food in your mouth and it slips down into your stomach!” says Haidar in horror. Whether Haidar is a unique case, or whether that is the case with every person who have had their tonsils removed is obscure for now. I will personally find out next week.